envision a new world design charrette

Imagining Beyond The Year 2012: Designing, Co-creating, and Holding A Collective Vision of Positive Future Possibilities.

    Truth, judgment, and honesty


    Posts : 231
    Join date : 2009-06-21
    Location : Bainbridge Island Washington

    Truth, judgment, and honesty

    Post  Admin on Tue Jun 15, 2010 12:31 am

    When we talk about honesty, it’s usually about honesty to others. “Don’t lie,” we’ve been repeatedly told. Far more often than being asked how we really feel, I bet.
    Many people compromise honesty to oneself in their effort to be “kind” or “right”. We are afraid of being rejected so we try to behave in a nice kind way that we believe to be in accord to the socio-cultural values. Insisting to be right is based on the same fear of rejection, and it directly utilizes the judgments we are conditioned to hold on to.
    For instance, say you are married to a loving, caring, and supportive person. You love him (or her) very much. One evening, he wants sex — you don’t. So your honest response is “No.” But how many people can say the simple no? Not “No, I have a headache tonight.”, just simple “No, I love you, but I don’t want it now.”
    So you oblige to your partner’s need. You are being kind to your partner and being a good spouse, at the expense of being honest to your truth. Do this enough times, you start losing your true sense of sexuality. You may pass the judgment test of “being a good spouse”, but you forget your truth.
    Now the flip side. You sense your spouse is not really enjoying sex. You feel like you are pushing it to her. So you start suppressing your sexual desires — you withhold yes to yourself. This is another way of not being honest to your truth.
    Of course, it’s not just about sex. How many times have you suppressed free expression of your feeling, thoughts. . . your truth? (And yeah, expression doesn’t mean acting out, like stealing what you want from the storefront.)
    To create the New World based on Truth, we need to let go of our long-cherished judgments and our need to be “nice “ and “right”. You are already loved, so you don’t need to conform to the social idea of what is acceptable and desirable. You don’t even need to be right — truth can manifest in various ways.


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